There are songs and stories about the troubles arising from Santa Claus arriving too late for Christmas or having to cancel Christmas altogether (“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” “Year Without a Santa Claus,” “Christmas Don’t Be Late”) but few or none that tell of the problems associated with Santa arriving too early. This song attempts to address that shortcoming.

I wrote this song in the days leading up to Christmas 2017. While I made this video about a week before Christmas, it was too late to spread the word widely. I did the more formal recording for download in October for actual release in mid-November.

As a writer and former newspaper reporter, I’m new to this. This is the first time I’ve released a song. I grew up listening to The Dr. Demento Show and many years ago, back when I was in high school, a group of friends and I submitted songs to him on cassette tapes—but they never aired on his show. For old time’s sake, I sent him a copy of “Santa Came Too Soon,” hoping he might play it during the Christmas season. He surprised and flabbergasted me by playing it on his show almost instantly after he got it. (Here’s a link to the show playlist, which also included songs by Bob Dylan, Tom Lehrer, John Prine and Weird Al Yankovic!)

On the show, Dr. Demento called the song “a masterful double entendre.” Coming from him that really means something! He’s hosted the nation’s most-prominent funny music show for nearly half a century and so has seen thousands of pairs of double entendres (if you know what I mean).